2007 Xmas Letter

The One, The Only 2007 Version

The World Famous Burke Family’s Tacky Xmas Nonsense

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Vol. 26, No 1, December 2007. Past Volumes at this blog site

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Politically Tasteless Joke

2006 in Review

James worked. Catherine gardened. Moira studied. Liam brewed beer, cooked, played guitar and enjoyed life. The cats slept. Same old, same old.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie

2007 was the year of Australia. James and Catherine arrived in Sydney just days before Dubya and the APEC conference. We think APEC is ‘Any Person Even Care?’ Police dogs, barricades, and security made sightseeing exciting. We escaped to Cairns just in time. After seeing an incredible World Heritage Rain Forrest we hopped to the wilds of Darwin and the Aboriginal lands of the equatorial north. From there we crossed the continent by train 3200 KM to Adelaide with a top to see Uluru (Ayers Rock). This is one of the isolated spots on the planet and we had to fight thousands of other tourists for a spot at the viewing station. Go figure! Australia is a fantastic country, even if they talk funny. Their elections for prime minister take a whole three months- imagine what they do if they aren’t campaigning for 3+ years. But it did get pretty nasty when one candidate told the other “Lair, lair, pants on fire.” He got a 30 minute time out in parliament.

If you can’t make it to Australia, enjoy our trip vicariously. You can go to this blog site and download a zip file called Aussie 2007. This is a PowerPoint presentation of over 600 photos and an hour of original Australian music. Unzip it and run it on PowerPoint.

Catherine’s Corner

The MASTER GARDENER in the family now is a fully certified compost specialist. Even has a little orange name tag to prove it to disbelievers.

Catherine continues to be one of those wondrous volunteers who answer the phones at the local extension service when you call in. Overheard this year:

Caller: “Hello- My wife wanted to be turned into compost when she died. I’ve got the body in the freezer and want to know if I can use a Craftsman Wood Chipper to prepare it.”

Catherine: “The Sears and Robuck manual says that it will handle limbs up to 8 inches in diameter, so you should be ok. They do recommend cleaning with a power-washer and bleach when you’re done, but try not to get bleach in the compost pile. Bleach is really hard on the beneficial rotifers.”

Caller: “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Catherine: “And also- if you mix shredded newspaper in, it will speed up the progress.”

Caller: “Oh goodie! Now I know what to do with all those back issues of the congressional record.”

And if that’s not exciting enough, she’s also currently looking for a house to flip.

Xmas song of Joy- sung to the rap version of

“Mary Had a Little Lamb.”

♪Voters just don’t give a damn.♫

♪They’re fleeced from dawn to dusk

♫And everywhere their party goes

The dough is sure to flow. ♫

Fairy tales always begin with “Once Upon a Time” OR “If elected, I promise”

Liam- Cooking up a Storm

The MASTER BREWER and BUDDING CHEF in the family has been spotted working at Ambrosia, a local restaurant in Eugene, famous for its culinary excellence, fine wines, and fewest number of Ptomaine poisoning per capita in the Northwest. He’s been trying to convince the owners to convert the basement into his own personal brewery. He’s also still working at Humble Bagel pushing dough onto the community at large. He has been spending what little free time remains serenading pretty young things with his guitar songs.

CHI- not the weird tea drink

CHI=Computer-Human Interactions. Despite her father’s belief that all human-computer interactions should end with ‘hit any key’ using a sledgehammer, Moira continues her progress toward her PhD at Carnegie Mellon. In her third of five (or six) years, she is building automatic models of the way people talk in online communities such as Wikipedia, Facebook, and health support groups, figuring out what patterns of language get strangers to talk to and trust each other. In her oodles of free time in the last twelve months, she has hiked one of the world’s steepest valleys in Hawaii, nearly fallen off a fjord in Iceland (subsequently promising to name her first born after Runar, the Icelandic guide who helped her climb back down), and swam with a nurse shark in Mexico. She also sings in a jazz combo and bakes fantastic vegan cupcakes.

You’ll need to go to her website at www.thoughtcrumbs.com to see all the fabulous things she’s been up to. While you’re at it, check out www.veggieburgh.com where she rates the best and the worst of vegetarian fare in Pittsburgh.

The much anticipated Annual Recipe’.

This year featuring Political Pot Pies

Take a Woman, a Black, a Jew, A Mormon, and Several Idiots.

Mix them thoroughly into Campaign Trail Mix.

Remove all extraneous decorum and common sense.

Season to taste with talk radio and pundit puffs.

Let set for a 60 second sound bite.

Simmer for 2-3 years with occasional stirrings.

Bring to a roaring boil at the last minute.

Add an unknown element that thinks the world is 6000 years old.

Prepare a bed of jackass crackers and elephant biscuits

Garnish with lots of green, both soft and hard.

Flush the whole think down the toilet and start again.

Catherine & James will be running for an office in the Silly Hat Party- Donations accepted

And so ends this year’s update.

We again send our wishes to you for

Health, Happiness, Prosperity, and Joy.