2004 Xmas Letter

We’re Back!

New, Improved 2004 Version of the World Famous Burke Family’s Tacky Xmas Epistle

Commercial Free, no Spam, no Pop-ups, no Class.

Vol. 13, No 1, December 2004.  Past Volumes at www.burkeworks.org

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They’re called Typhoons on Guam

Having thought braving 12 typhoons and an 8.1 magnitude earthquake while living on Guam was enough, the Burke Family got to see Hurricane Ivan up close and personal.

Three days into a vacation on Cozumel the authorities closed the airport, harbors, shipping, and boarded up the hotels.  Ivan blew through the 95 mile wide straight between Cozumel and Cuba, wiping out most of Cuba and giving Mexico a thrill.

James, Moira and Liam did get to enjoy three days of spectacular diving including a very close encounter with a huge (gets bigger every telling….) nurse shark.  She cruised back and forth, around, and between them looking for a hand out.

Don’t know which was bigger- Moira’s eyes or the coral heads.

The rest of the week was spent watching the pod of dolphins that took up residence in the Hotel pool during the storm.  Or watching the rain and reruns of bad movies in Spanish from the room.

 

Note: stupid hats, sunburned noses, phony smiles and Liam’s devil eyes.

Click for Dolphin Video 1

Catherine Joins the Greens

It began as too many hills of cucumbers when living in Tangent 35 years ago. It grew into not just gardens but “rooms” on the property (real gardeners know what that means) to achieving the esteemed bright orange badge stating she is a MASTER GARDENER.

Catherine is now one of those wondrous volunteers who answer the phones at the local extension service when you call in:

Caller:  “Hello- I have this funny fuzzy stuff and crawly bugs all over one of my whats-ya-callit plants.”

Catherine:  “Clearly this represents a serious infestation of the dreaded whooley beetle.  Since this is the first case we’ve detected in the Pacific Northwest.  I have already notified Homeland Security.  They will be there in a few minutes to burn your home to the ground and eliminate this threat.  We thank you for your assistance.”

And if that’s not exciting, she also volunteers at CValCo* (pronounced CValCo) where she directs the new and foolish to Oregon on where to find the best places to live (near Woodcraft), eat (near Woodcraft), and shop (Woodcraft). 

* Convention and Visitors Association of Lane County

Xmas song of Joy- sung to “Happy days are here again”

?Empty nest is here at last?

?The house is finally ours again

?So sing a song of joy again

Empty nest is here at last?

That about sums up this year.  Liam moved out last year to start matriculating/ masticating at the U of O.  Dorm life proved a bit much so this year he moved into his own place.  Well- sort of his own if you don’t count the roommates.  Beyond the usual educational questions about calculus, chemistry, funk guitar and the history of rock and roll are the real educational questions:

“Did you know the electric company sends a bill every month?”

“I thought that if we kept all the garbage for a couple months we’d

 get a break on their bill?”

Seriously though, Liam continues to work hard at music, science,

and scuba diving while enjoying life.

Lindy Hopping in Vienna, et al

It would be overwhelmingly ostentatious to publish Moira’s CV in the Christmas letter, so you’ll need to go to her website at www.considereddesign.com to see all the fabulous things she’s been up to.  Not least of which was a trip to Vienna to present her prestigious research paper at the CHI conference.  (Computer Human Interactions, not that hippy tea drink).  Add to that trips to Boston and Boise to present Library Technology topics and you’ll get the idea.

  The Burke women after six straight days of preparation for Thanksgiving.

Moira is currently worried about whether Carnegie Mellon, M.I.T., or WBCU (World’s Best Computer University) will accept her for an advanced degree program.  She only had perfect scores on all her GRE’s.  But that only put her in the 95th percentile. Perfect scores?  95th percentile?  Huh?  Clearly there is a right wing conspiracy that allows government selected applicants to get in the 98th percentile.

In the meantime she continues to Salsa Dance her way to fame and fortune.

The much anticipated Annual Recipe’.

This year featuring Burke Family Love Biscuits

Mix equal parts of Hope, Caring, Charity, Patience, and Goodwill

Sift out all the religious contaminants, hatred, fear, and politics.

Take all of the remaining resources, add abundant clean water.

Pour into fair nation size portions.

Cook slowly and gently without outside agitation.

Share with everyone you know.

The sky is falling.

Or at least the icecaps might be melting? And Global Warming might not be just an environmental whacko myth.

In response to a newspaper article about complexity theory and fractal geometry, James signed up for a couple courses in Mathematic Complexity and Gaia Theory (geophysiology).  Getting over the initial shock of first night class being held in incense clouded industrial warehouse, taught by a PhD of Evolutionary Biology wearing a camouflage kilt, his mind was opened to a whole new view of life.  Life- an autopoietic, dissipative, self organizing system. (See www.prototista.org/). 

Earth is a living structure that takes in energy, has an active metabolism, and is warming at an alarming rate.  Help protect her!  Learn about her!

Next year you’ll find him on a corner with a sign that says:

“The end is near. The planet is too hot.  Give me $1 million.”

Next term it’s hoped that James and Liam can take the basic evolutionary biology course together. 

And so ends this year’s update.

We again send our prayers to you for

Health, Happiness, Prosperity, and Joy.

PS- no new animal stories this year. Spud has a tumor on his head, Elvis is still bulimic, Athena is no longer dumb as a rock- she’s dumber than a whole bag full! Cosette is dieting and is very unhappy.