The One and Only- (♫Ta- ♪Da)
THE BURKE FAMILY XMAS LETTER
2103 Version- only a couple days late.
Next year’s version awaiting midterm vote.
Continually tacky to the point of being almost tastelessly politically
incorrect.
This year with fewer pages than the ACA- and read by more people.
The 2012 letter review:
In 2011, Liam and Jessica got married, Moira was hooded, Mexico attempted to sell luxury
vacation packages, and 2 new kittens arrived.
You learned how to
make “Feed Me Seymour” sourdough bread, and the garden continued to grow.
THE
BIG NEWS
They’re having a baby, despite protests from James
and Catherine who are too young, vigorous, and wise to become grandparents. Liam, Jessica, and Catherine visited the
Ashland Shakespeare festival and watched A
Mid-Summer Nights Dream (or is it A
Midnight Summer’s Dream, or Nightmare on Summer Dream Street?) It rained, which
may or may not have influenced the pregnancy.
James stayed home and debated using the chainsaw to repair the chimney
on their rental house.
Catherine’s
Corner:
After careful review of the calendar to find clever things
to write about, she found that most dates were filled with garden commitments.
This year, she finishes a spectacular term on the Extension Service Executive Board
of Lane County; a year marked with a singular lack of political intrigue, bad
behavior, or arrests. A better record than Congress, the Duck Football Team,
and the Eugene City Counsel. More people know how to turn garbage into compost
gold and be sustainable than ever before thanks to her efforts. In her spare
time she convinced James to buy a chain saw and help with garden clean up.
We’re sad to report that the limb re-attachment surgery failed; the laurel tree
was sent to the great compost pit in the sky.
It looks like most of Catherine’s 8th grade class
will get together this summer for their class reunion. There are rumors that
Sister Mary Teachem Goode will be exhumed for the event.
The No-Name Book Club of Cottage Grove celebrates their 19th
year together: Coloring books to comics to picture books to breakthrough
American Novels in large print. Time to negotiate a group deal on Kindles.
And
Speaking of Books:
It’s finally available (dramatic musical fanfare please). Kelly’s
Reef, that long awaited and much promised first novel, is
published and on Amazon.com
in both print and a Kindle version. The kick-off book signing occurred Black
Friday at the local BookMine
book store. It was massively attended by those seeking shelter from the weather
and in search of cookies and punch. The sequel is in production and promises to
take the characters to new heights and adventures in Cabbage Hollow.
James’
Thing:
“Would those who would entertain a third term as being president
of the Cottage Grove Habitat for Humanity, please take one step forward.” James
turned and found the rest of the Board had retreated. Cleverly claiming credit
for all the hard work of the volunteers, James has managed the building project
for the 12th house in CG, while relocating to a new warehouse/
office, encouraging a ReStore and supporting the new Brush with Kindness
Initiative. Amazing what can be done with a new chainsaw.
Chain-sawed Crab and all the fixings are available at the 4th annual Habitat Crab
Feed, Jan. 25th. Tickets available, but hurry- last
year the second seating came up short when several of the crabs climbed out of
the pot and escaped.
Pictures at: Habitat Photo Page
Deaf
Sushi Whale Watching in the Castro District on St. Paddy’s Day:
A summary of family travel 2013.
Whale watching in the San Juan Islands followed a trip to
SFO to visit Moira and Andy. St. Paddy’s dinner occurred in a very noisy sushi
bar in the Castro. We understand whale blubber is good in sushi rolls, and used
for other purposes in the Castro. ‘Nuff said.
And
in other family news:
Facebook and Twitter
both went public. Moira and Andy became employee stock-holders. Yipee! The
prospect of their choice of nursing homes is looking less bleak.
The cats (no longer kittens) have
learned to talk to the birds in the feeders.
Moira and Andy’s cat is just cute.
Watch YouTube for developments and viral cat videos.
The Xmas Recipe
SlamBama
Cakes with Gridlock Grits
Ingredients:
‘Affordable’,
mandatory fixings- available at ScrewUp.gov
Five options
available: Platinum, Gold, Silver, Bronze, and dirt.
Directions:
Pour into a pot.
Stir in Mea Culpa
with a pointed, red nailed, finger.
Wait a year for
something to brew.
Top with apathy
sauce and throw out, keep, freeze, or
Regurgitate in
November, 2014
|
|
And as always, we wish the very best to you and your
family for 2014.
The sponsors dis-avow all knowledge of this letter.
|
